Monday, November 28, 2016

               100 WORD CHALLENGE



This is my story witch you might hate, is about a man named Larry, loosing weight. He thought the impossible but went for the win, to get rid of the junk food within. He was big, wide and went to his storage to find 6-inch by 4-inch box with an orange. He peeled it, then ate it and said, “Maybe perhaps, I’ll do this thing,” but then he collapsed. 2 years later he was thin and infact, his fist hurt harder than crocodile’s tail whip attack. He is now nice and healthy, but now he’ll defined, how he started of his story and the end.

3 comments:

  1. good rap just one or two or maybe 3 problems...This is my story witch you might hate, is about a man named Larry, loosing weight. He thought the impossible but went for the win, to get rid of the junk food within. He was big, wide and went to his storage to find 6-inch by 4-inch box with an orange. He peeled it, then ate it and said, “Maybe perhaps, I’ll do this thing,” but then he collapsed. 2 years later he was thin and infact, his fist hurt harder than crocodile’s tail whip attack. He is now nice and healthy, but now he’ll defined, how he started of his story and the end. now my version This is my story which you might hate, is about a man named Larry, losing weight. He thought the impossible but went for the win, to get rid of the junk food within. He was big, wide and went to his storage to find 6-inch by 4-inch box with an orange. He peeled it, then ate it and said, “Maybe perhaps, I’ll do this thing,” but then he collapsed. 2 years later he was thin and infact, his fist hurt harder than crocodile’s tail whip attack. He is now nice and healthy, but now he’ll defined, how he started of his story and the end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nice story, but you used the wrong which you used witch but you should have used which. overall nice story.

    ReplyDelete
  3. you should change this sentence He is now nice and healthy, but now he’ll defined, how he started of his story and the end. to He is now nice and healthy, but now he’ll define, how he started of his story and the end. so make turn defined into define, because he'll means he will. and it does not make sense with defined

    ReplyDelete